Rwandans model forgiveness in remarkable ways. We can definitely learn from the macro story of national reconciliation in Rwanda during the last 25 years. We can also learn from the countless individual stories of forgiveness.
A few days ago, I shared some stories of forgiveness at The Journey, a men’s ministry event led by Craig Glass in Colorado Springs. I shared the story of my good friend and co-laborer, Fidel Goodman, a manager at Hope Haven Rwanda (You can read part of his story here: hopehavenrwanda.org/first-degree-forgiveness).
Goodman’s story is one of several stories that I could tell about Rwandans we work with. Many Rwandans have experienced intense trauma, pain and disruption. They are not alone. Every human being struggles with forgiveness.
Sometimes, even in marriage, it’s tough to forgive. I heard someone say recently that “Marriage is a long series of ‘forgivenesses.’” Conflicts threaten any close relationship. How we resolve those conflicts makes all the difference.
We all know that God works in powerful ways through forgiveness—in the life of the one who has been forgiven and in the life of the forgiver. In Mark 11:25, Jesus urges His followers to make forgiveness a high priority. “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.”
I have seen the full spectrum after ministering in some of the most difficult places around the globe. I have witnessed remarkable forgiveness and the peace that follows. Sadly, I have also observed the toxic bitterness that emerges when we refuse to forgive.
When deep trauma and wounding has occurred, it may take a long time for that transformation to take place. Thankfully, God is patient, kind and faithful to do this type of supernatural work when we seek, trust and obey him.
The path toward forgiveness is not easy and forgiveness doesn’t erase the painful consequences of evil in life. Mature believers struggle to forgive just as we do. The only difference is they make the choice, in faith, to obey God.
They say to God, “Since you tell us in your Word that we need to forgive, we want to do it. And, God, we need your help to do it.”
This kind of forgiveness catches us off guard. Forgiving those who attack us is a distinctly supernatural act. It is an abnormal human response.
But Jesus commands his followers to do what is humanly abnormal. For example, we are to bless people who abuse us and we are to love our enemies. That’s not our normal response.
God will give us the grace to forgive—when we seek, trust and obey him.
Is there anyone that you need to forgive? Anyone that you harbor bitterness toward? True freedom is found in forgiveness!